The Dance of Trust

Being a dancer, you get taught technique. Way to hold yourself, place your feet. Hold your head, your poise, your body aches as you manipulate it into the place it is “supposed” to go.

If Trust were like a genre of dance, there would be absolutes, placement that was wrong and placement that was right. You would know if you were on pointe or off. Your peers in your class would know if you were grade perfect or if you were failing.

But Trust, trust is not a dance, or knowing and position. The trust dance is when you take a step and it’s not a known, a given a graded placement. It’s like stepping in the dark in the night when the lightbulb has broken and you need to move quickly down the stairs. It’s knowing the familiar feel of the carpet and the tread of the steps, yet the unknown is just that unknown. The dance of trust is knowing who is your staircase, who is the familiar tread as you step, but not knowing if your foot is turned out, in first, fourth or second position.

In the Trust dance, none of that matters. As the smoke clears and the lights come back on, as you see the end of the dance, where your feet have landed… you know that you were safe and your dance partner, the Father of all Fathers had your every step.

Every dance of Trust is never known, the process the steps, there is no syllabus’s to pass but, exams are passed every time… because His word, IS the given, the known.

Trust you Daddy

Stay strong

Jai xx

Best Christmas ever,

Sound familiar πŸ˜‚

Every year everyone says “we are gonna make this the best Christmas ever” out come the decorations. Out come the guest lists and the party invites!

This year my family said “we are going to make this the best Christmas ever.” We said this from the front seat of a converted American school bus that we have been living for the past seven weeks as our house had mice infestation.

Today we moved into a house for the Christmas holidays.

I decided five days ago to keep a “Best Christmas ever” diary.

After everything my family had been through and have been going through over the start of Christmas I wanted to prove to myself and everyone else that it really was going to be the best Christmas ever despite everything!

I wrote day 5 in my diary today on why it’s the best Christmas ever.

And you know what-I looked over the last four days and every day without fail I’ve found a reason to why I’m having the best Christmas ever.

Not because of the season, or things around us.

But because of these five things so far!

1: The very fact the lord has given us family in the lord who love and care!


2: because my family love me and I have amazing parents and brothers.

3: because you have blessed me with real friends

4: because I am feeling very grateful for my life and the people I know.

5: because despite of where I staying, where I am tonight, I am with the people I love and with Jesus I can make any place feel like home!

Christmas is a choice!

It’s a heartfelt feeling that comes when we see the face of those we love light up!

No matter where we are-no matter if there’s the seasonal joy around you or not, I chose this Christmas to make this my best Christmas ever. The one I would remember for the rest of my life not because of what happened but because what the lords doing in me-helping me see beauty and life in everything around me!

Helping me to find the little things I’m grateful for to help me keep my chin up during the rough times!

Merry Christmas and a happy new year!!


Flower girl!


He does it again and again

My God is faithful and He can’t be out given.

What the enemy meant for Harm MY GOD turned round for His glory.

Right up until the last moment before we went on stage in Birmingham this weekend, the enemy tried and popped at our family, and those around us. It was the last straw when the missing fireplace prop, that God replaced miraculously Saturday night, flew off the roof on the way to the performance smashing all over the motorway, that we sat and laughed in the face of our enemies !

This last 3 months:

We have lost our house to mice

Skipped half of our home belongings to mice and vermin.

Lived in a motorhome conversion for 7 weeks in the cold

The awning flipped over the roof it was so windy.

Taken showers in so many places, washed in large plastic tubs! Oh yes … I know!

Felt and seen our breath inside for nights

Travelled up and down and had two major blow outs on tyres.

Lost props, found them, had them damaged

Lost costumes or DPD did TWICE Β£500 worth of goods ! One day before show !

One of the main cast went sick on the weekend of the show.

Driven up a understudy from Surrey !

BUT GOD !!!!!

He moved on the hearts of thousands of people on Sunday morning as the testimonies roll in…. we want for nothing He has the glory !! He did miracles !!!! He is providing more than we could imagine in healing hearts of those around, he’s building team and family !!

We have the best family in the world in our church, our pastors rock and we are so blessed to have God building team around us, people wanting to help and be involved.

I wanna shout out to the best Daddy in the world ! He alone is worthy, and neither death nor life nor anything else in all creation will separate this family from what God has called us to do! We love you Daddy, we love where you sent us and we love the people we serve and those we reach.

Please pray for the next 3 shows ! He is indeed on the move !!

” I have been so blessed this Christmas time, to spend time with the Crick family at rehearsals for Above the Musical and then also, to be part of the audience during a performance in Birmingham. God has woven so much into this piece of theatre, that it literally just saturated my soul with God’s truth and wisdom. The songs are uplifting and the words spoken just echo in your heart. Prepare to be moved by God’s spirit and touched by this incredible family who have a heart for God and a heart for you…

Rachel Matthews

*please be aware I work part time so am not always able to respond immediately*

Regional Producer and Coordinator for Central England

07882 789805


Stay strong Jai x

I’ll be home for Christmas

Many have said “You should so write a book” the testimonies and journeys of those around us in this our journey we could write a book.

Not a bad view from your bedroom window. When you wake up in the morning, but what if your bedroom window was a Big yellow skoolie!!

3 months ago I would never have believed that we would be hearing this Christmas song and it be the real world …. our world.

Technically not “Homeless” as we are staying in a half converted Skoolie, but we don’t have a place to call our own at this moment. As we are between houses, forced out our house by little mice. As I look around me, the worldly goods we had ( and we had bare minimum ) have been stripped to basics ! Around me in the bus, is a few belongings each of us. What we could pack in a bag and bring into the space.

My little buddy, turned 5 in the bus ! Not many children can say that ! It’s been a really testing time. As we walk and drive past houses with trees all aglow, and festive lights lit around windows. I hear the sigh in my children’s hearts and I see it in their eyes, and if truth be known, it’s there in mine too, just hidden.

It has felt like the world has stopped and we have kept going and going and going. In many ways, that’s how it has felt, we haven’t stopped. We don’t say it grudgingly but we could so so do with some time off now and we were so looking forward to Christmas time in our home in The Midlands and now … well now we are on miracle territory. What has Father planned for this period of time, I don’t know. However I do know, it is GOOD. Only GOOD comes from Him, none of this persecution and trials are from Him. John 10:10.

I know He will use what the enemy has meant for harm and turn it around.

As we gear up for our shows, first this weekend and then two more, we know that we are in His will, we know that we have done as He has asked of us this term, and we will see an expected end a desired result. He will have the glory and His name will be glorified.

As my girl said as we threw more stuff away to the skip “We had fun getting it, we will have fun getting it again” He is no mans debtor !

Pray for us this weekend and the next two as we serve Him, through musical theatre productions from North to South.

Stay strong Jai x


What is a home?

A place the shelters you, a roof that keeps you from the storm? A place where we run when we are too tired to face the day?

Is that a home or a house?

What is a Family?

People that shelter you, arms that keep you from the storm, a place where we run when we are too tired to face the day?

A house is a house, it’s brick and mortar.

A home-is built up of those around you, the memories you share, the laughter and tears the friendship, the fears, the beauty of the world you create together.

That’s home, not where we are, not what covers us.

But those who love us.

It’s Christmas time and everyone is familiar with the song “I’ll be home for Christmas, if only in your dreams.”

I never realised how true that is till now.

Christmas time is that time of year when the tree gets trimmed and the lights go up.

People always have family around, creating that warm feeling in our hearts.

We all want to be ‘ home for Christmas’ a lot of people think though that means being at the house, with the loved ones.

But the line “if only in your dreams.” Is so real and true, even more important than the one before.

When you love someone, if your with that person, in the physical or heart-you are already home.

As Christians at Christmas we remember the time when Christ left his home in heaven and made it among mankind.

He left the glory he had and became humble, but he was still home.

He made his home with man, with the ones who loved him here on earth.

Mary, Joseph,and later on the twelve not to mention all those others who followed him.

Home was where he was-because wherever he was those he loved where with him.

Our home is in Jesus, it’s with those who love us and it’s with the family who care.

So if your at home this Christmas or somewhere else-if your with those who love you, if you are with those who care. Your already home.

The photo above is so true-It’s also true for family.

It’s not about who’s connected to you by blood-or those you have known since childhood.

But those who have walked in said “I’m here for you” and proved it to their own hurt.

That’s love.

That’s loyalty.

That’s friendship.

That family.

That’s home.

Love the Flower girl πŸ’™πŸ€

Warmth. Love and Drawings from heart.

When God calls you to something there is no turning back. There are times when you wish time would stand still and that you Could ask the world to stop and let you rest a while. I know the Lord wants us to have rest and there is time for that and prayerfully soon we will, for longer than an evening.

The last week has been one of the hardest in our lives as Christian workers. Our little rented house that took such courage to move counties too, just six months ago, became overrun with mice ! Yes overrun, and when I say that, I am not exaggerating!

What we thought was one little critter and a few poops turned out as we pulled things out, due to the next door house being condemned and left for 5 years by HS2 we have an army! That have silently gone through cupboards and belongings and costumes and mattresses and wrecked our things. How can a mouse get into ones bedside cabinet and shred a notebook and leave all its lovely things behind and I not know ! Needless to say the whole thing has left us all rather disgusted .

Having decided after advice this is a big job and until next door is sorted they would keep coming back, we had had enough.

So over 4 days we moved what was left of our home and all the 32 loads of washing and drying I had to do to clean things salvageable ! We packed all into a shopping container ( not organised at all) and slept in Big yellow youngest became very allergic and afraid and we decided to stay in BY at the end of the drive.

It’s been a crazy and very tiring and emotional week. Tears, frayed tired adults as well as some funny sights !

Fond one, was our eldest – couldn’t find both crocs at 4:30 am heading to the house for the toilet, hopping up the driveway carrying the bin for me I thought my sides would split with aching from crying laughter !

What is it with shoes ! Our second son, couldn’t place his boots as mum had washed them to get rid of mud … decided to use his younger brothers wellingtons that were so small looked like he was wearing high heels ! Needless to say his walk and his stance were another moment of side splitting laughter a break in the turmoil.

This is being a mum, learning to hold and laugh at oneself and with others not at them, when life throws you lemons and well, this time it felt like a whole crate not just one or two ! Holding your babies in laughter.

One morning we awoke to a flood in the bus where someone had missed the sink bucket ( no plumbing yet) then the dog was sick, then the other one had a number two on the limo ! The stress levels rose, until the wellingtons we’re put on and the wiggles and the laughter stopped it all.

We decided after working into the night hours for days, we would take time out go to Poundland and blow a Β£10 note on Christmas decorations, come back to the bus and decorate and sing stupid Christmas songs. Sometimes you have to just take time out, even if you have piles to do.

This has all come on the eve of the busiest and start of the Anti Bullying schools workshops around the nation ! First one in Eastbourne, two in Walsall ! We had thought about many time cancelling, we were tired we didn’t have the energy to think let alone work. How did we have anything to give !

The workshops were rich, God did amazing things and the children that saw Big Yellow were so excited to see her ! The workshops went so well, children who were not expected to join in for various reasons, were up on the stage with all of them and they all focused, for involved and the message of speaking words that heal and not harm was strong.

Today UCB radio aired one of our songs from our Christmas musical !

The warmth and love of those around us, hot water bottles, lasagne, leggings to keep warm, meal vouchers and love gifts and a warm bed and shower, chilli in the oven and little girls that draw pictures, young boys with awesome hairstyles ( R you know who you are 😊) and dances late into the night that make me smile watching you! I sit back and sigh, for even though these weeks will go down in history as one of the hardest, in this is peace and joy.

Being in the centre of His will.

For in this world you will have persecution, BUT be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world !

Thank you to those that have been His arms and hands to us this month, without you we couldn’t do this !

Stay strong

Jai x


I wrote something the other day-and now it’s got me thinking.

What is strength?

A lot of people think it’s ‘who’s the most masculine, who’s able to lift this or that’.

But when it comes down to it, who is truly strong?

The mother who pushes through to care for her children.

The girl who smiles truly despite the pain in her heart.

The young man who keeps his heart steady and his gaze clear when things try to distract him.

Strength isn’t about who is the ‘strongest’ it’s about who Truly defines the word strength.

It’s the smile in the pain.

It’s the laughter in the stress.

It’s the lifted Chin and bracing shoulders as you face what life throws at you with a smile and heart of courage.

It’s knowing that despite what we may feel like, we are strong, knowing that He who is above all else watches over us and covers us, giving the strength we need to carry on.

For when we can’t go another step he makes us strong through him.

It’s hope-that carry’s us on.

It’s Jesus who lifts our heads.

It’s he who carry’s us.

It’s he who shows us what strength means when we face the hard times but know he is our deliver and he is there fighting our battles of us!

Strength isn’t about who is the strongest, but about who doesn’t given in, and who doesn’t loose hope.

I mentioned up at the top that I thought of this after I had written something.

I wrote it at about 12:35 ish last night while talking to a friend of mine.

‘Flower girl:

Sunflowers because they remind us to face the sun so that the shadows will fall behind us.

Roses because they remind us that we are beautiful no matter what.

Poppies because they remind us to remember the past but look with hope to the future.

Flower girl.’

I wrote that-in the midst of a hard time, a poem sort of thing about my favourite flowers.

It’s what makes me strong, knowing that there is beauty, there is hope, and there will always be sunlight where the shadows can’t invade.

Love the Inspirational flower girl