Mummy is this what blind is ?

I’m tucking my 5 year old darling into bed and he’s squeezing his eyes so tight. ” What are you doing darling” I ask.

” Mummy, is this what it’s like to be blind?”

My thoughts reel ….

“It must be awful not seeing anything”

We go to snuggle down ….

“Mummy let’s pray for all the blind people tonight ”

Moments like this ….❤️🚌💐

Stay strong

Jai xx

Cucumbers and Lemonade

The last 12 weeks we have been making our family budget for food last to feed 7 as we have been helping a gentleman we have been staying with, with meals.

It’s been a stretch, I won’t deny it. Looking at the pot, thinking how can that stretch to 7 mouths and there have been times when it didn’t look like and times it didn’t feed everyone and we just had little portions.

God is good and He knows our need.

Who would have known the details that Father thinks of ! Down to Melons not one but two !

We giggled our way through the shopping as we found 5 cucumbers!!!!!

3 Bags of potatoes and 2 bottles of wine we were able to bless our host with as don’t drink !

Our shopping has arrived the last three weeks with not one of each item but three!!

I was amazed ! But they can’t take food back when it’s been in your home.

We had more food than we knew what to do with !!! In a camping fridge we have limited space and we were cramming in to close the door !!!!

But God doesn’t stop there …:my father provided ;

2 Melons for our daughter

2 Lemonade for our sons

1 sticky toffee pudding for me 🙂

1 Shepard’s pie with ale for my husband.

All things I DID NOT order but are so individual favourites …. for our family but most importantly HIS family.

Just as He provided Manna in the wilderness He too was providing for my family in lockdown on a bus in a old silage pit in the cleft of a rock He found us with our favourite desires.

Things that mean so little to many – meant the WORLD to us and as we all gulped down lemonade we smiled so big !!!!

I want to proclaim and declare here today – HE is a good good father and we are loved – you are loved by HIM ! The creator of the universe is our provider and HE will always come through

Stay strong

Jai xx

Cucumbers and Lemonade

The last 12 weeks we have been making our family budget for food last to feed 7 as we have been helping a gentleman we have been staying with, with meals.

It’s been a stretch, I won’t deny it. Looking at the pot, thinking how can that stretch to 7 mouths and there have been times when it didn’t look like and times it didn’t feed everyone and we just had little portions.

God is good and He knows our need.

Who would have known the details that Father thinks of ! Down to Melons not one but two !

We giggled our way through the shopping as we found 5 cucumbers!!!!!

3 Bags of potatoes and 2 bottles of wine we were able to bless our host with as don’t drink !

Our shopping has arrived the last three weeks with not one of each item but three!!

I was amazed ! But they can’t take food back when it’s been in your home.

We had more food than we knew what to do with !!! In a camping fridge we have limited space and we were cramming in to close the door !!!!

But God doesn’t stop there …:my father provided ;

2 Melons for our daughter

2 Lemonade for our sons

1 sticky toffee pudding for me 🙂

1 Shepard’s pie with ale for my husband.

All things I DID NOT order but are so individual favourites …. for our family but most importantly HIS family.

Just as He provided Manna in the wilderness He too was providing for my family in lockdown on a bus in a old silage pit in the cleft of a rock He found us with our favourite desires.

Things that mean so little to many – meant the WORLD to us and as we all gulped down lemonade we smiled so big !!!!

I want to proclaim and declare here today – HE is a good good father and we are loved – you are loved by HIM ! The creator of the universe is our provider and HE will always come through

Stay strong

Jai xx

Believing God for the vision He has Given you …..

When Abraham looked out and saw the stars in the sky and God promised Him this shall be as your descendants….. he had to trust that what God said would come to pass would.

Sometimes seeing another’s fulfilment of their dream and vision is so beautiful and precious and easy to want to get behind and support because it fills part of your call, but when you stop and evaluate…. you realise that you are trying to put your star formation amongst someone else’s patch of galaxy. Where the Big Dipper should sit, you try and add another formation that Father has placed in another place in the sky, not to compete, to outshine, to replace but to COMPLETE his master plan.

For the heavens and galaxies span to create a beautiful array of His creation to the whole earth. That TOGETHER we create beauty and speak His name.

Today I learnt one thing….. Sometimes you have to be bold enough to think God has given you a place in that galaxy to be, and that if He called you. He will provide that space. It’s NEVER wrong to serve and show love, that’s Fathers heart. But, when that serving and loving is because insecurity thinks you can’t or Father won’t provide you a place a space of your own and insecurity causes your heart to remain somewhere ….. that’s not Father.

For He knows the plans He has for us …..

Maybe it’s time to dare to believe He’s called us to have our own little piece of the array of the galaxy to shine

Stay strong

Jai x

When you miss family so much …..

When my youngest made this with me, it was clear what was on his little mind. His big sister and her trees and the sheep at the place we called our “cleft in the rock” Where God brought us for refuge and safety in this COVID crisis. When we had no where to go, He provided miles away a place a place of refuge and beauty.

Yet, with all the surrounding beauty nothing compares with the beauty of a friend, family in Jesus, those that you can hold and love and share and the end of the day ends with a sigh because you have been held, and loved and not just given but received. The last few days have been those days …..

Over the weekend meeting with a friend of many years, heart to heart sat on her grass and just breathed my soul felt full and my heart healed a little as I felt loved and felt I could love back. As the broken spaces of the COVID lockdown were healed a little in the beauty of a deep and dear sister whom I love.

Yesterday as another sister sat with me and this sister danced with my daughter and as her husband filmed some of our musical which we are supposed to be doing in July but now can’t, as one scene between my husband and son and daughter and friend took place in the beauty of an open field…. a place of stunning beauty, a little more of my heart healed…. but then overnight I realised she too had to leave ….

Why has the last months felt so full of loss.

My heart grieves the loss of theatre and teaching and being with family I love. All the little people my little sisters and brothers in Jesus those I have the honour to lead and teach in arts. The bigger ones my brothers and sisters too, but friends my heart aches to be side by side with them again. For in the being together we made a mighty sound.

My heart longs for security a place to call “Home” and yet, my heart longs for Jesus more. To know Him, to know the plans He has for us. For in this season 6 months of nomadic living in BYellow, we have learnt and shouted ( not much really ) much. We have learnt to live with one another in unity and a deep inner strength fills my kids eyes as I watch their fruit bloom the spirit fruit that can’t be earned or learned but grown.

As I watch us as a family, I hear “Seek first the kingdom” In doing this…. do I hear destiny? Where is the Kingdom work right now Jesus where can we be most affective for you ?

“But Jesus, is it wrong to want a place to call Home”

A place to know you can run too, when life is stormy and close the door and shut the world away ?

It doesn’t need to be beautiful, big or stunning just a place to call “Home” with a door and a key….

Re- evaluate all that I have held dear and I know this…. that PEOPLE make your world what it is… Family those by blood and by Jesus and more than ever right now, we need them and to make more part of this family that no crisis or world view can change.

For in this I know

Jesus Loves me so

For My bible tells me so

Sorry for the ramble

Stay Strong

Jai x

The home that keeps on being built ….. !

Quick update! Our Big yellow 🚌

It has served us so well, even though she leaks and has had her fair share of “ahh” moments when we wanted to shut the door and not return for a while.

We turned our eldest sons mattress in his over the cab bed ( which is like a shelf ) bless him, he is 20 and has tolerated the shelf bed for a long 6 months. It was so lovingly built by Bill our wonderful friend.

The mattress was covered in mold and had gone through to the foam and, well we soon realised that and a neck injury for him meant the end of the shelf bed !

Which means … Chaos ! As we try and remodel the 9m/3m space with 6 and two dogs and rain coming through the ceiling hatches and work and home ed… does this sound like a overload ! Yes ! It is …..

Until …. Mr Flynn decided to knock over a whole 5 litre of paint

This is post clean up ! Wonderful

Daughter did so well, to clean it up this well.

Moving a bed in the bus, is not like changing a room around in a house… oh no… the heating has to move, the electrics, the earth, under the bus, in the mud… the toilet has to move the kitchen … the bus whole remodel and a whole lot of praying for provision to get the bits we need !

Three days in and we are still climbing over all kinds of things to rebuild the bus.

Did I also say we moved the bus today to make a little garden space at the back in the little cleft of a rock we live in… it’s a LONG way from being a garden at the moment it houses a caravan and car that the owner here is looking after … it’s a mix of stone, mud, twigs and a little bit of grass, lots of clearing to do … and what to put on the ground ? But for the first time in 6 months I could put a chair … hidden by BYELLOW that was “my chair” with my little bit of air and sky where I could feel alone and have some solitude … and for that I am grateful !

I am sitting 5m from my husband and son still sawing and screwing and trying to fix things, it’s been a very very long day – few days and we are not carpenters … but I now have a door !

To my 1m square of bedroom floor and I LOVE it ! God is good.

All this, you would think would drive you nuts as a family … but although I can’t deny it’s hard and in many ways like plush camping … I have NEVER seen my family so close, so happy, so loving each other and the fruit of the spirit is being given major opportunities to grow and that in abundance…

So, do I pray for a little bigger home, one with things that work better, yes… but if I had to chose I would lay that down in a heartbeat for what we do have … bigger hearts and fruit that works better than it ever did when we “had a normal life” in a house.

Stay strong

Jai x

Rain…rain…and more rain! Hip hip hurray!!!

Our my family and friends the only ones that think it’s weird for me to like the rain so much? 😂 no? Oh good, glad we are on the same page.

Anyway, I guess a update is well overdue, first off-I’m in a very autumnal mood, have you ever heard of those like necklaces that you put a essential oil soaked pad in and wear it? It’s for like aromatherapy, anyway, I’ve got one and it’s cinnamon scented and it smells sooooooooooooo good!!! It’s also very wet and windy most days for us here in Devon so it’s easy to feel wintry. Brrrrr.

Life during lockdown hasn’t been so bad I guess. I mean, it could be worse right? 🤷🏻‍♀️ well, so far, it’s ok. Even though I do share my wardrobe in Big Yellow with two of my brothers, a bookcase-which I can never keep tidy-a hover, a mop, and a ironing board 😂😂oh the joys of being a super tidy person and having very untidy brothers. I think that space gets a through tidy down every other day 😂

I turned 17 a couple weeks ago, it was actually a really nice day, Mam and Dad did a surprise Zoom birthday party online with all our friends-it was so nice to see them all! 😭💔😂

I’ve also managed to get some of my friends to Join Manna’s zoom lessons, they are loving it so we have more kids now on manna ‘online’ 😂

The biggest thing that’s probs happened to me is that I’ve been given a writing scholarship! Dun dun daaaaa!!!! Which means, that I am able to put my book proposal up on this Christian site that has Christian agents and publishers and stuff looking at it all the time on the look out for new and up coming authors. I applied for my biblical fiction novel ‘At Dawn’ and I’ve been granted it! So I won’t have to pay the fee to get my book up there and stuff! Within the month I will have my novel-myyyyyy novel-on a site ready for people to look at to see if they want to take it and publish it! Jumps around! Super excited here! Also, the novel is over fifty thousand words! I mean that’s like the most I’ve ever written!

At Dawn is a novel covering from the time of Mary and Martha, right though to Pentecost.

It was a great book to write, I started it in January and sent it off to edit on Wednesday! Bounces around. Is very happy! And I broke ground yesterday on my next boo so life is busy busy busy! I am also now on the full swing of first year bible collage on the long distance learning course with Charis Bible collage! Sending off my test for Lesson five in year one today 🤞🏻😂🥳

So that was a quick update, oh! And on my lovely sheep who live next door, they are all growing big, fluffy and the cuter everyday!!

I have also tried my hand at digital art-It’s not too bad 😂

Anyway, have a great weekend!

Love the Flower girl x 🌸🌸🌷🌷💐💐

Wellingtons. Waterproofs and Wetsuits !

When one lives in Devon, I have come to realise three little letters that normally mean World Wide Web, do not mean that here in Devon in this Big yellow Bus ‘

But instead mean Wellingtons. Waterproofs and Wetsuits…. all much needed commodities for a family of six living in the West Country.

Our Big Yellow bus seems to not be happy with the new life where rain pours in sheets. It is really something spectacular as on the moors you can see it coming in and suddenly it hits !!! Living in a big yellow tin can the acoustics are tremendous !!! A conversation forget it, when the heavens open you are in the percussion area of an orchestral pit ! However BY seems to have sprung a leak or three from the roof hatches?!!

Right by my bed, today I have been dodging buckets and drips. It is a choice between light and seeing where I am at this end of the bus or being rained on, as I sit to get dressed and comb my hair ! I opted for getting wet, as I figured even if I Closed the lid to the bus, the rain keeps a coming into my buckets !

Waterproofs are a much needed thing, the number of wet and damp coats we have and alas the rain has made it through to clothes ! Ah the old rain mac….. onto the prayer list !!

Wetsuits, well, I figured that if we are here for summer or longer if the Lord wills, we will need to pray in some wetsuits the waves are amazing here and that country sea girl in me has a childhood dream of running in waves and laying on a board with her kids in the 🌞

So I have decided to reinvent the www where Devon is concerned to the above.

So forget the umbrellas, if you visit us here – remember the 3 W’s

Stay strong xxx

When there is no closure

When you leave somewhere in the dark of night and travel miles away from all that has been home for over a year to wake up in a foreign place, a place that doesn’t even smell like home, there is no noise, no traffic . You would think peace would overwhelm and a sigh would come. But when there is no closure…. you can feel lost and a stranger in a foreign land.

I was reminded the other day that the Israelites did similar. They left by night to a land they did not know of…..

When there is no closure you don’t feel you have arrived or left and this is the strangest feeling I am working through right now.

Then comes the thought – can I let go without having to know ?

Challenge …., living life as a missions worker is so often just like that… the need to know , the mortgage the rent the bills monthly the monthly routine and schedule… there often is none!

What are you teaching me Lord, letting go without having to know ?

But I need to know, my heart cries for security , more so in this quarantine times….

Is He enough for me ? My answer is Yes, and if He holds me which I know He does then the problem lies with me and not my father …. stretching times

Stay strong

Jai xx